Closet Gay Cock Sucker

If you asked me if I was gay, I would tell you, vehemently, that I was not gay. I’d tell you I was completely straight. But…I think I am. I don’t really want to be, because it complicates my life. But I can’t help what I feel. I have always liked men more than women. Even though I understood that it wasn’t like that for most men. By the time I was in college, I had accepted that I was probably gay, but I decided that no one needed to know it but me. So I went through college very quietly. I dated a few girls, but of course nothing came of it.

After I graduated, I settled into a good job in a city far away from my hometown and decided to see if I could discreetly do something about my personal life. But I have to admit that it terrified me that someone I knew would see me and out me to everyone in my life. So I did some research on the net and also made some inquiries on some web boards. With the information I gathered, I made a few phone calls and soon I was meeting with my Mistress for the first time, as a closet gay cock sucker.

I Needed Someone Else To Be In Control

I’m a person who likes to be in control.  But I knew that with my attitude, I wouldn’t ever have a date if I didn’t put the control into someone else’s hands. So my first meeting with my Mistress consisted of admitting to another person, for the first time, that I was gay. I felt so liberated, yet I was also terrified that I had somehow taken a step into the unknown and could never go back. However, I knew that I had to do something. So I gave her control and let her help push me into acting on my cock sucking fantasies.

I have to say that she taught me many things. My Mistress helped me loosen up quite a bit. She had me dress in drag, which wasn’t something that I intended to explore, although I did enjoy the experience. Anyway, I was all dressed up in women’s clothes and my Mistress made me go to a gay bar with her. She assured me that it was just to look around, not to do anything really serious. I enjoyed it after I saw that no one I knew from work or the other parts of my life were there to see me. I’ve also gone to gay parades and other events that would give me a chance to be in the gay community. My Mistress didn’t leave me alone though. I’m glad that she never left my side on our outings.

She Convinced Me To Do What I Really Wanted

Since then, I have been a guest at her “mixers,” as she calls them. These are parties where her various friends get together to have fun without fear of retribution or discovery. This was where I sucked my first cock. God, what a fucking fantastic night that was! (No pun intended, of course!) I saw this guy staring at me and after a minute he came over to me and said that I was the one for him tonight. I was stunned into silence. Then he took my hand and led me to one of the spare bedrooms. We didn’t even exchange names. He did tell me to relax a bit. My cock was throbbing and I could barely think.

But it was like we both knew what we were there for and just went for it. We started kissing and feeling each other. I loved the feel of his body under my hands. I was so excited that I forgot to be nervous. Let’s just say that a good time was had by all. It turned out that he knew this was my first time to suck cock and had volunteered to be with me. I was really grateful for his kindness and patience, but I got really good at it quickly, so I had him moaning like a pro by the end of the night. And he gave as good as he got, by the way. It felt incredible and I was immediately addicted to cock. Sucking cock or having mine sucked, it didn’t matter. I love both.

Safe To Be Myself

After that night, I have enjoyed many such encounters. My Mistress makes sure that I have opportunities for evenings with men that are anonymous. Therefore, it is safe for me to be myself. Maybe, one day, I will try for something more permanent.  Till then, an occasional cock sucking session at a secure location, that is set up by my Mistress, is fine with me. This closet gay cock sucker gets to suck dick and remain securely anonymous.  All thanks to my Mistress.

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